I had a feeling, buried inside
by WeakEndGirl
Summary: HarryXDraco. Inspired by the song "Stand up and run" by Billy Talent.


It had taken time. It had taken a lot of time. A lot of time to realize what had actually been going on for years. The teasing, the jealousy, the hate, the competitions…and throughout all these years, Harry had never realized. He had never seen that love was right in front of him. Slowly, he put his cup of tea down and sighed. Sure, his life was good. Now. Nothing to complain about really. He was lonely from time to time, that was true. But wasn't that his own fault since he had dumped Ginny some months ago? Yeah, yeah, she was great. She really was. And things had been good. Good. Really good. But that was all. They hadn't been great…far from perfect. And Harry was seeking for perfection. He wanted his life to be perfect. After all the fights, the tears, the pain…he wanted perfection.

 _I had a feeling  
Buried inside_

 _Covered beneath a  
Blanket of pride_

He wanted Draco Malfoy. Yup. Read that right. Didn't he seem like perfection? Like the perfect imperfection? Yeah, maybe that was cheesy. Way too cheesy for Harry, but in the end – it was true. Draco Malfoy was so much more alike Harry than anyone else. People Draco had lived with had pushed him into a direction he maybe didn't even want to go. Just like Harry. Malfoy had even tried to escape from the prison called home once and never really made it. Remember that time he couldn't kill Dumbledore? Uhum. Right. At least, that was the way Harry looked at it. They were both broken, they both needed shelter, they both knew pain in a way nobody else did. There was no one else that could understand Harry any better.

 _I couldn't tell you  
What my heart felt inside  
In so little time  
_

Harry stood up from his chair and walked to the window to look out. The winter had come early this year. It always reminded him of Malfoy. The white snow was just like his pale skin, the hazy sky had turned cold blue just like Draco's eyes and the way everything just fell silent was just like Draco's aura. Dangerous. But silent. And beautiful. Harry wanted to see him again. Even though he had no idea where Draco was. Or if he even wanted to see him. If he'd talk to him or even look at him. They hadn't spoken for years.

 _Stand up and run, Stand up and run, Stand up and run, Stand up and run  
Into my Arms_

So all he ever did was waiting for a miracle. That he somehow, somewhere would manage to get any notice of where Draco had headed, how he had been all this time or – if he was still alive…

Harry opened the door and walked out into the cold. He buried his face in his scarf and pulled his woolen hat over his ears, almost covering his eyes. He made his way across the snowy street, heading west.

 _Chasing the bright lights  
This city got old  
You walked out of my life  
And into the cold_

There was this one spot that Hedwig loved. Every week at the same time on the same day, Harry went there to see how she was doing. She didn't come to visit that often since she had started a family. Even Hedwig had found love…wasn't life unfair! It started to snow as he turned right. He walked way slowlier now, not seeing much of what was in front of him. The cold snowflakes stick to his hair that covered his eyes but he didn't want to wipe them away with his hands. He didn't want to pull his hand out of his pockets. It was too damn cold. Not that he was complaining. He liked it somehow.

 _It's hard to imagine  
That you'd never come home  
forever Alone_

 _Stand up and run, stand up and run; Stand up and run, stand up and run  
Into my Arms  
Stand up and run, Stand up and run, Stand up and run, Stand up and run  
Into my Heart_

It was snowing heavily by the time he reached the meeting point. His feet didn't even make it off the ground anymore, they weighed so much, now that his shoes were soaking wet. He just pushed the snow away with his feet as if it was a soccer ball. He tried to look up to see if Hedwig was there already but he remembered that the owl was white and so it didn't make any sense to look for here. Harry found the bench he had been looking for, pushed the snow down with his foot and sat down on the edge.

 _Can't you see there is no logic to love  
And we're lost just like the stars up above  
If I'd only known how you'd make me feel  
I would kiss the ground that touches your heel_

He kept watching the snowflakes falling down from the sky. He was on time. Hedwig was late. That was unusual. But he was sure she would show up. She always did. His feet were cold and he could barely feel his hands. His breath danced in front of him in the form of weird-shaped fog. He closed his eyes for a minute or two and tried to listen really close if he could hear the sound of her wings flapping through the silence. But there was nothing. He started to get nervous. She was okay, right? Nothing had happened to her, right?

 _After all these years of being apart  
Don't let reason try to tear us apart  
If the compass breaks, then follow your heart  
And I hope it leads you right back into my arms_

And then, suddenly, there was this cracking sound. The snow was aching under the weight of someone making his way into Harry's direction. He opened his eyes again and squinted. He could only see the silhouette of a tall person with a hat. And then, after further inspection, he saw big shining eyes to the persons right. And black dots. And then…he reached out with his hand so his beautiful owl could land on it. Flap, flap. He smiled at her, he had not recognized her through the fog. She looked at him, bloating her chest proudly.

Harry had almost forgotten about the silhouette when a pair of shoes suddenly stood in front of him. He looked up. And although it was snowing and although a scarf and a hat were covering that persons face, he knew exactly, without any doubt, who that was. He had never forgotten those eyes.

"Malfoy…", he whispered.

 _And though time has passed, we'll still make it last  
And I hope this leads you right back into my arms  
Into my arms!_

"I've been looking for you", Harry heard him say as he slowly stood up. Their eyes met and then they just stood there in silence for a while. Harry was shaking and he wasn't sure why. Maybe he was cold. Maybe he was nervous. Maybe both. He looked into the eyes of his opponent.

"I've been looking for you, too", Harry said after a while. It didn't feel like a while though, it felt like forever.

Nervously watching as Draco got a bit closer, their eyes met several times and Harry was breathing faster than he wanted to. Ugh this was too much to take.

"I needed to see you", he whispered. And then there was this little moment where time just seemed to stand still and just like in the cheesy movies Harry had seen, his knees gave him up, making him stumble, fall. Malfoy hectically reached out with his arms, trying to catch the other one.

Harry looked up. And then, if he had talked to him about it or if he just knew, Malfoy pulled him into his arms, holding him close. He took a deep breath and said:

"You know, _I had a feeling, buried inside…"_


End file.
